SELF AWARENESS - THE SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND

When my children were in primary school, I remember learning about a method which was designed to encourage and teach children to open up more about what happened at school that day. Instead of asking ‘How was school today?’ where we tend to get the standard ‘good or bad’ as an answer, I would ask them,

“What was the highlight?” – the best thing that happened today! “What was the low-light?” – the worst thing that happened today.

The answer to these questions gave me, as a parent, more insight into my child’s day. My children were excited to share the best parts of their day, and what didn’t go so well. It also taught them that it’s okay to talk about things that aren’t ‘happy’.

Having these types of conversations will build trust, and open, honest communication which is what we want. This method helps our children to expect there are times life doesn’t always promise a 'happy day,' allowing them to experience normal emotions without them thinking, there is something wrong with them. Have you ever asked someone a question and without thinking an automatic answer immediately follows without thought? Hi! How are you? GOOD! We usually leave the conversation there. If we were to ask another probing question, the answer would be a more thoughtful response. The answer would be more insightful or closer to the truth of how they are. Your question has required them to think, pause, inquire or reflect with themselves. This is why so many people seek a therapist or counselor, as it helps them to get clarity about what is happening at a conscious and unconscious level that may be affecting their ability to live life the way they really want to live. Bringing the obvious parts of who we are (what people see) and the hidden parts of our-self (what people don’t see) to our own subconscious gives us the power to change our reality.

According to Sigmund Freud’s idea “the Iceberg Model” we operate out of three levels of consciousness. The Conscious Mind

– thoughts – perceptions – assumptions. Also called the EGO (mind, will and emotions) rational or emotional mind, conscious thought, volitional, driven by reality, intellectual, disconnected, focused, informative, complicates easy things, opinionated, superficial, with an ego-centered rational approach to education.

The Sub-conscious Mind

- memories – stored knowledge (experiences) – fears and immoralities. Also called the SUPEREGO (the wise mind/moral compass) Self-awareness is motivated by maturity, and morality (what is right and wrong).

The UN-conscious Mind

– selfish needs – irrational beliefs – violent motives and urges – shameful experiences. Also known as ID, the hidden self maybe self-centered, pleasure orientated, driven by anger, fear and sexual urges. With us from birth.

Our journey to become healthy minded, content and mature adults is the ability to operate out of our “SUPEREGO” which is reflective, philosophical, contemplative, considerate, growth centered, and SELF-aware.

The SUPEREGO is the WISE MIND, as it operates from a need to understand our experiences and ways of being from both our conscious mind and our unconscious mind. The deeper we go into our unconscious behaviors and fears, the more we understand our SELF and others better. We begin to be able to recognize our regressive, unreasonable, disconnected and reactive parts of our SELF. If we never delve, discover or acknowledge those parts of ourselves exist, we will continue doing the same things over and over and wonder why life is so unfair to us. When we are able to pinpoint the issues underlying our re-actions to certain ‘triggers’ that cause an involuntary response, that is not working for us any longer, we know our SELF better. When these hidden parts are brought out into the open, they no longer have power to control our choices, decisions, actions and responses. We literally take our power back!

If you’ve wondered, what on earth is SELF-AWARENESS. This is it. All of us are growing in self-awareness and if we are not, we should be.

Many of us are proficient at stuffing our “issues” into the too hard to deal with basket or succumb to the idea that “this is just the way I am,” never wanting to discover why ‘life’ is full of drama, unhealthy relationships, meaningless, pointless, hard, disappointing, or hopeless. We can’t change what has happened to us, but we do have the power to take hold of our life, and choose whom we shall BE going forward. There is HOPE for you and a reason you are here.

Do NOT FEAR taking a deep dive into your unconscious, because if you go there and are able to recognize what is holding you back, you are fully empowered to change your life. Sometimes we do need to take a step back, take a good look at ourselves, and make a conscious effort to develop our SELF-Awareness to improve our way of being in the world. Who do you want to BE? Your true SELF, apologetically! I believe in YOU!

Teresa de Mouilpied-Moore - Author/Life Coach/Podcaster #lifecoaching #psychologylesson #SUPEREGO

#WISEMIND