A power struggle creates an inequality in any relationship be it, a marriage, friendship, or with work colleagues and/or bosses.
One person desires to be of a higher standing or rank, all knowing, above, stronger, smarter, unquestioned, or on a pedestal in the relationship. They often see others as competition, or stepping stones and feel the need to put them in their place, at any given opportunity.
Simply put, if you’ve found yourself in a power struggle, there is no mutual respect.
Even in positions of ‘power’ a boss/teacher/politician/pastor/other with an attitude of servant-hood is highly respected by those whom work alongside them. Servant-hood is not a lowly way of being, it is an attitude of seeking the best and fairest outcome for themselves and their team. All. the. Time! Not just when it suits them. Servant-hood is an attitude, which gives respect and care to those entrusted to them.
Servant-hood is our authentic Self, rising up, as we help others up.
The point I want to make is, we are never actually ‘powerless’ in situations where we are not respected. We always have the choice to leave or stay when we are not being respected.
Maybe you’ve found yourself in a power struggle in a real-life situation, and you have become depressed trying to fit into a marriage, work culture or other relationship.
Your situation will not get better until you recognize your own power to choose a different path. You do not need to remain in the relationship.
No matter who someone is, it is absolutely critical that we have boundaries and Self-respect. If we don’t respect ourselves, we won’t have any boundaries. This makes us easy targets for ‘the bullies’ to dominate and control us.
Within our boundaries we have every right to ask for respect if we believe that someone’s actions are disrespectful toward us, but we cannot expect people to respect us if we are not respecting them.
To demand respect but not show and give respect is about the want for power and control over others.
We can choose to BE for others what we expect to receive from them.
If we are treated less than what we expect, we can make a choice whether to continue within that relationship or not.
It’s as simple as that.
What part are you playing in the problematic relationship?
Are you seeking control or are you being compliant?
Are you respecting your-Self?
Are you respecting others?
Respect is a two-way street!
Author/Life Coach: Teresa de Mouilpied-Moore
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