Our identity, if inflexible, can leave us feeling empty when life situations change. If our identity is based on what we do rather than who we are, then this can be unsettling, but not necessarily a ‘bad’ thing. Sometimes ‘things’ happen to rock our way of being in the world, and encourage us to recognize what is most important.
There is nothing like a sudden job loss, demotion, marriage breakdown or personal loss of any kind, to shatter everything we thought we could rely on. Our perceived identity is no longer, and the most common question of reflection would be…WHO AM I?
It is not a question of IF this happens to you. It will happen to you. It happens to everyone at some stage of their life or many times throughout their life.
If your identity is a 'wife' or 'husband' and you experience a marriage breakup? You can no longer identify as a ‘wife’ or ‘husband”, so who are YOU? If you identify yourself as a ‘mother’ and your children grow up and become independent, needing you less, this can cause distress and a somewhat 'life crisis' for you. Who are YOU if your children no longer need your constant care or attention, and are making their own decisions for their own life? If you are an athlete and can no longer perform at your peak due to injuries, and it has caused you to retire from sport altogether…who are you? It feels ‘safe’ to identify or belong with/to a group, but you are not ‘the group.’ You are still YOU. You bring ‘YOU’ to the group. Each person, with all their own collective life experiences, present their OWN SELF to a group/family/work place/team or community.
If you recognize you may be a confusing 'who you are' with 'what you do' you might need to consider how this affects your way of BEING in the world. Will you have the ability to overcome the changing seasons of your life with ease. Will you have the ability to flow with it rather than fight against it?
What we do should never be elevated above who we actually are. We can have a title but that does not determine whether we love and accept ourselves, nor clarify whether we genuinely care for others.
What we do is what we do. Who we ARE is who we are, no matter where we happen to find our Self!
How we treat our Self matters. How we treat others matters.
All positive change happens at this level of consciousness or Self-awareness, as does the ability to flexibly, and effectively maneuver, the ups and downs of life.
This is one of those life lessons we will all experience one day, if we haven't already.
For myself, this lesson, I know very well!
ASK YOUR SELF? Who would I BE without my title, job description, business, followers, parents, contacts, network, children, church, husband, wife?
Teresa De Mouilpied-Moore - Author/Life Coach/Podcaster #lifecoaching
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