FLOURISHING REGARDLESS!

When I was about 9 years old, I remember being pushed off my bike by my older brother. Riding as fast as I could to overtake him on a playful race to school. I was smiling at him as I glanced sideways to give him a smirk, ‘look at me’ I’m going to win!

In a moment he reached across and shoved me sideways. It was quick, unforeseen and dramatic. When I hit the road, it was my elbow that took the maximum impact. There was some blood but it seemed to be dry, being on my bone, with small bits of embedded gravel. A sharp larger piece of road gravel gouged a deep scratch that was about 4-5cm in length on my forearm underneath my elbow. It hurt. It hurt a lot. I cried, of course, yelled at my brother, and tried to come to terms as to why he pushed me off my bike! How could a seemingly fun moment turn into something so hurtful? Crying, I walked my bike, by myself, back home but it was my heart that hurt more than the open bloody wound. Overtime, my elbow, stiff sore arm and grazed knees healed, and the scar is still there, although faint. The fact that it exists, doesn't allow me to forget it happened.

I’ve never asked my brother why he pushed me? I suppose its obvious that the idea of me winning the race was unacceptable to him. His fear of loosing, caused him to strike out at me with no remorse. Could this be why people engage in harmful behaviors and actions? Is it because they cannot stand the thought of being second best or...last? Is it too hard to accept someone else's achievement and BE simply happy for them? Is it too difficult to endure someone else doing well in life?

For much my childhood I was extremely self- conscious, lonely and somewhat awkward, and I learnt at a very young age it’s not okay to be upset, emotional, hurt or angry. However, whatever my self-perception was, my ability to connect with others has always been easy for me. Having friends who accepted and loved me was my only need and want. The number of times, in my family of origin, I felt as if something was ‘wrong with me’ because I was displaying normal healthy emotions is uncountable. Too many times my feelings were simply dismissed as dramatic, annoying, or not important.

Today, it still has me questioning all my feelings and emotions, however, I have learnt and now acknowledge how my experiences as a child have made me become a self-aware person who knows themselves well. It has given me the capacity to have insight into many things. Most importantly my own self. What was painful in my past has made me strong in my ability to communicate and understand others pain and disappointments. I suppose this is why I write and share openly. It is the reason I want to help others to discover and live their best lives regardless of our beginnings. We can use our pain and rejection to benefit in the service of others. In serving and helping others we experience fulfillment and contentment for ourselves. This is how we recover from disappointment.

Communicating our truth is the only way to be free from our past. Our past we cannot change, we can only accept as being our own story.

Our today way of ‘being’ is always within our control. We get to choose whom we will be in every given moment. Our tomorrows are yet to come, and we can choose to be filled with optimism and hope for the future.

My elbow scar will remain and my heart will remember. Those embedded memories remind me, not only did I survive the experience that hurt my body and my heart, it also highlights great victory, because I continue to flourish regardless.

Teresa De Mouilpied-Moore - Author/Life Coach My Book is available on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/LIFE-BE-ING.../dp/B085PVW64Q #lifebeinginit #lifecoaching