How can I know if I am being my True Self?
Am I living my life with authenticity?
Erich Fromm a German psychologist, wrote a book (1941) called Escape from Freedom (also known as the Fear of Freedom). I have not read the book (yet) but in my psychology course I’ve come across one of his teaching, which is about ‘Man’s main task (in life) is to give birth to his True Self.’
For those who follow my page I found this idea to resonate with me, (a lot) as LBII (this page) is devoted to discovering who we truly are and ‘true happiness is a great relationship with our Self.’
That being said, many people are chasing non-productive ways of being in the world that hinder, block, or sabotage their effort to be authentic humans and experience true freedom to BE who they truly are!
Here are Erich’s ideas!
In addition I will add my interpretation to his ideas (in my own way) and I will also add another ‘type’ to his list.
You can decide if this is true for you.
1/ Receptive Types - mindlessly except their roles and never seek betterment or change.
People in this category embrace the status quo, keep busy doing the right thing (according to others), looking after others needs, and never question whether what they are doing is what they really want to do. They will follow rules, say yes when they want to say no, and never step outside the ‘invisible’ line…to discover their true potential. They do not value themselves or their needs and it’s too painful to accept they need to change.
2/ Exploitative Types - aggressively self-centered and typically engage in acts of coercion and plagiarism.
These people are manipulative, lack substance and character. They copy other people’s work or ‘fake it till they make it.’ They will lie, cheat and steal with no concern for others around them. These people create a facade, tend to follow a ‘success’ format that has ‘worked’ for others, and are driven by their head, not their heart. Perhaps some motivational speakers may fall into this category, especially those whose main ‘reason’ for doing what they do, is to make loads of money exploiting peoples weakness or insecurity.
3/ Hoarding Types - fight to retain what they have and are always seeking to acquire more.
These people highly value external things and need to not only keep up with the Jones’s but have more than the Jones’s! Enough is never enough and ultimately, a bottomless pit of never feeling satisfied. These people could be extremely wealthy and they do not choose to help others at a disadvantage. More, please!
4/ Marketing Types - everything is for sale, including their time, talents and even their Self Image.
These people derive value for themselves through self promotion. In today's context this could be Instagram ‘influencers’ who use their online persona to sell products, their bodies or public image to make money. People who brand themselves as ‘the product’ and their self-esteem is gratified, temporarily by how many likes they have. This way of being creates a persona that is not true, has no substance, and in reality is just fantasy.
And here is my additional idea…
5/ Dictator Types - have all the answers to life and never admit when they are wrong, or might be wrong or that the have no idea or don’t know.
These people can make up the truth! They are close minded and will do whatever it takes, to control others to think the way they think. ‘Followers’ must eat up all their words ‘as truth’ and should seek their advice for life situations. These people can use mind control or other forms of control in which to lord it over others.
These people lead cults, organizations, religions, dictators of country or culture, or can be labelled as narcissistic or ‘bullies.’ The people around them are not allowed to think for themselves and are just a way to a means.
Dictator types must win at all costs, view themselves as ‘smarter’ than everyone else, ‘be right,’ and be in control. These people are insecure, fearful and prideful and only really care about themselves, not the well-being of others.
These examples are extreme but perhaps you can see yourself in one or more of these 4 (or 5) ways of being…even if only to a lesser degree. Only you can know if this is true or not for you. These ways of being ‘get in the way’ of expressing our true Self and being loved for exactly who we are, not what we try to get people to ‘think’ we are.
To become our TRUE SELF never involves exploiting and using others for financial gain or ANY other gain. The list of hurtful ways people use others is exhaustive, that’s why we must be able to know and manage ourselves according to the principle ‘treat others as you want to be treated’ Our values should align with every decision we make, so that we don’t become exploited, used and disregarded by others.
This post is a simple snapshot in just one area of psychology, which I hope has been illuminating.
In the picture below are helpful tips designed to explore your Self more deeply and you can decide if they are worthy of your attention or not.
written By Teresa De Mouilpied-Moore - Authour/Life Coach/CBT Practitioner/Podcaster #lifecoaching #explore #relationshipwithself
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